After my mother's death by suicide, I felt guilty and deprived of meaning. Moving to my father and continuing life with him and my brother, I got further into my shell and suppressed my feelings and grief. Once I started working, I placed my entire value on my performance and before I knew it I had my own family and carried a massive emptiness inside. The following years were a roller coaster of darkness and turnarounds, but my own suicidal thoughts kept haunting me. See how I found comfort and understanding in meeting others that had lost loved ones to suicide. Embarking on a healing journey with peers helped me open up even deeper, and I finally reached the point where I could start healing. Learn how this helped me feel the grief and reconnect with my emotions, to detach my self-worth from my performance. I created a new environment by becoming self-employed and started working on suicide awareness. This helped me regain new energy to become the caring and vulnerable man I want to be to all those around me.