What was a great Saturday ended up in the unthinkable. My 17-year-old son died by suicide in our house. The shock completely pulled the life out of our family and me as a mother. I was left with a massive emptiness, a sense of guilt, anger, and sadness over why this had happened. I took the role of the “strong one” and set aside my own grief to support my other children and family. Once it caught up with me and I started feeling the massive darkness of the grief, I got scared of where it could lead me. Hear how I took a decision in the darkness of grief to do everything in my power to find a way to live with my loss. I decided to be proactive through openness at work and with those around us to move beyond the shame of suicide and my own guilt. Learn how I found space at work to be myself and get a break from the grief. This allowed me to find the strength to seek a grief support group and peers that I could share the burden with and learn. I realized I had to give my other children the space to talk to someone in addition to us parents. I decided to use my experiences to increase awareness around suicide as a societal problem in his spirit, to find some meaning in the meaningless.