The mask I was carrying started feeling heavier by the day, and I did not know how much longer I could carry it. I grew up seeking my father's approval and it only grew stronger the older I got, but his inability to be emotionally present created a hole in me. Losing him took with it the hope of ever being able to heal our relationship, and since I was not there in his passing, I felt there was much unsaid. I drowned my grief and the pressure of having to perform now that I was supposed to be the man of the house in drugs. In the end, I had no hopes or aspirations for my life and I only wanted to escape the immense pain, it being through dying or partying it away. See how I found solace in the least expected place through a peer I had met at summer school. Opening up about my inner struggles to her for the first time released a massive burden from my shoulders. Learn how this sparked a light in me to start taking responsibility for my choices and approval. I delved into learning more about mental health and stigma to help myself dare to break the stereotype of vulnerable men as weak. I grew stronger every time I showed vulnerability and I had not found a passion that I transformed into my new career path.