Losing her and realizing that our parental aspirations were shattering with her last breath broke my soul. Growing up, I carried a gentle and concerned approach to the world that I carried into early adulthood, where being the observer and thinker felt more natural. When going through the heartbreaking loss of our new born daughter, I withdrew to the state where I did not speak for weeks, feeling trapped between the all-consuming grief and the disappointment of not being able to get back on my feet. Feeling that the help we were offered was better suited for outgoing people just added to the feeling of failing my expectations, leading to a constant state of survival and a year out of work in an attempt to regain my footing. See how the advice from a friend helped me to keep saying yes to different types of support, allowing me to take small steps forward despite the help not suiting me well. Learn how I found a writing course for men through an organization for people who lost their child unexpectedly. This course allowed me to have a concrete slot that I could dedicate to a deeper understanding and reflection around my own grief. Combined with therapy and other daily actions, this helped me regain my footing, one step at the time, creating a better foundation for me to start working again and for us to try to establish a family again. We were fortunate to succeed, and that also brought another layer of healing to our journey. This is my story.