Joining the guerrilla group felt like my only choice, and it gave me a sense of purpose. Growing up in a rural village, we lived with the constant uncertainty of being caught in the crossfire of drug trafficking. After losing a close relative and feeling the growing weight of scarcity as a family, I decided to quit school and start working to contribute. It felt like no matter how much we worked, we did not manage to keep up as a family. So when the local guerrilla groups said that they would take care of my family, I was easily convinced. They trained us and repeated narratives about how the government was the root cause of our struggles and the war. During my years of fighting for them, I experienced the paradox of “brotherhood” with my fellow combatants and the cruelties of war, where I was forced to kill my own "comrades." This shattered the last piece of conviction, and my loneliness grew with my lack of motivation to continue. I called my mom for the first time, and when she said they never received any help, my heart broke, but started beating yet again, and I was done. Hear how I managed to run away in a critical moment during a battle and how I sought refuge with the army due to a new law that obligated them to protect me. There, I found safety from the group, but also shelter, food, and mental health support. Learn how this program allowed me to start processing my traumatic experiences, but also work on self-forgiveness, which was a vital step for me to reconnect with my self-worth and start believing in myself to build a new life beyond the war. The process also taught me about respect, not just for other people, but also for myself and everyone on this earth. Together with the support of my family, this allowed me to find a job while finishing my primary education during the evenings. This provided me with the foundation to start university in Medellin and a new path to make my family proud, while regaining respect for myself. This is my story.