During a manic episode after years of feeling emotionally abused by my husband, I ended up having an affair that ruined my marriage. As a child, I was sexually molested by a close family member, which made me grow distant and hate my body. I saw it as dirty and something I could use to gain attention in a desperate attempt to fill the void in my self-worth. This led to years of dealing with an eating disorder and periods of depression while I slowly developed my mask. After meeting my husband, I forced myself to believe I was creating the life I needed to feel whole. After three children and years of growing emotionally apart while he pursued his passion, my manic and depressive periods grew stronger, along with a sense of feeling worthless and lost. See how being admitted to a psychiatric hospital after coming down from a manic episode allowed me to realize how many people I had hurt and accept my situation. Acknowledging how my marriage had been destructive for years allowed me to decide that I had to start my new life with my three daughters. Learn how I managed to stabilize my life again with the support of my parents, daughters, and friends. I utilized therapy for several periods and found a way to manage my bipolar through medicine and well-being practices. I rebuilt my career while integrating my past to rebuild a sense of self-worth. Reconnecting with my faith and finding a man who loves me for the real me became my anchor, which allowed me to slowly create the woman I wanted to be and forgive myself to finally heal.